I am Tarot
Yeah, it sounds pretentious... But it's true, it's the goal (it should be) for every Tarot Lover/Reader. Why so?
Everyone who likes playing with Sacred Cards knows one moment in Game - especially if you're passionate about Tarot - and it's becoming addict obsessively to the information you get. And there is a massive problem in it: you start projecting your power, power of your soul sight into the cards. It's a moment when you feel one thing, and Tarot (and it mostly does it, just to test you and your perception) is saying another one, usually totally opposed to your initial information. It's a test. Serious one.
Often, if we are healing Devil principles inside us, we typically fall. That's how you learn in the Path of Devil.Anyway, the ultimate goal of making life love with Tarot is, for me, becoming Tarot... Integrating everyone of its spirits, energies, and living it. It is the situation when you are watching some life situations, and you just see, know, and feel that Tower is happening. You don't have to pull your cards - you just see it. And, vice versa - you can have a situation that is so bonding you, that only the Tower Power can bring release: it is a situation when you have to integrate that destructive power of Tower and be a flame that burns a problematic case. In that state of Mastery, you still have your cards, as your best friends, morning coffee advisors, inspirational push and counselors in divination... but, in the core of your being - you don't need them, you are not lost without them - cause you are never without them: you are them, and they are you.And that Travel is a continuous process: sometimes you are totally integrating it, sometimes you are again at the stage of Fool, like a child, who knows nothing. That's just the way Tarot makes love with you - eternally exciting lover.
My love affair with it, in this lifetime, started when I was five years old. My parents planned to put mi in school, which causes so great havoc: 50% of family was saying "great, she is a genius, she will enjoy early school", but the other 50% went with "oh my God, it's a disaster for a child, she will lose her time to play and become worried and buried with obligations. So, I had a problem: 50% of people who I loved and trusted were saying "yes," and the same percentage was saying "no." What should I do? Although I had a good feeling about going to school, I was scared. So, I've waited for my mother to go out and then stole her cards.Digression for explanation: my Mom was a Wizard Women. For instance, when she wanted to teach me something on the beach, she didn't waste her time on "boring games with swimming". She would - and Thank Her for That - sit me, and practice telepathy with me. And so one. That's how she showed me her cards - gypsy one...
It was in the early eighties, and in that time, in-country of my origin (Croatia) cards were not available like today. You should order them and wait for months to come. So, when she got her first Aleister Crowley set - it was untouchable. She bought me some "compensational cards" - gypsy Tarot, but no way: moment I saw Frida&Ali pictures, I loved it!!! They were mine, they belonged to me!!! But, Mother said "no," and don't touch mine, you have your gypsies... Now you know why I had to steal her's, while she was out. So, I did it. I needed it, it's a big problem for a five-year-old girl: to decide does she want to go to school earlier or not. So, I asked the cards.
The moment I opened them - and I knew everything. I knew it will be fun, I knew I won't need a lot of hours of hard work. I just knew/saw - I will get lucky in it. Don't ask me how I knew: from past lives and parallel dimensions, now I know, but then, I just knew I will get an easy pass. And that how it was.In the meantime, I tried to steal those cards a few more times. Mother caught me and, to stop all that fuss, ordered Crowley package for me. And that was a Big Opening. There was a teenage girl in the building, so impressive, and I wanted to befriend her: so I showed her my cards. She wanted divination, and I did that as a game. But her older sister came and wanted divination too. In her cards, I saw money, significant as some vast heritage she'll get. "No chance," she replied, "I don't have anyone who can give me big money like that." Ok, I said, it's just a game.
But after one month, someone is ringing on our door. My parents open and here she is - the older sister, with 100 euros. "Your daughter predicted I'll get big money, but I didn't trust her. Last weekend, I got a Bingo on lottery, so I am bringing money to give the girl, she saw that" - Davorka (that was her name) said.Yeah, it's big money for a little girl, but also a big problem, especially when your parents don't know that you are walking around a block and "playing cards." Anyway, it was my initiation: since then, Tarot and I Play. Make Love. Becoming One, again and again.And that's why I tell you: the ultimate goal is to integrate every one of Tarot vibrations, to become one. To be a Magus, to be a Queens, to be Everyone. Because when you are one with Everyone, you are One with One, from which everything emanated. I am Tarot becomes your truth and way. Cause Tarot is One&Everything from it.In divination, it works miracles: you are watching someone, and you just see cards, you just Know! Cause... you are Tarot.