Hanging out with Hanged
It's always about Initiation... Entering every Card/Galaxy, it's a transition, coming onto a new phase. But with some Paths/Cards - it's different.
You just feel that Initiation is so profoundly, that it's complete rebirthing. Yeah, Death counts in those, Tower, Moon and Eon also, whole radical Ones, every One of them compelling in its own way... But, the deepest deep of it - it's the One who's Hanging. Not so strong-at-first glance as named ones, not so loud or shaking, but....undeviatingly penetrating. And stubborn - u can't just get rid of it. It' lessons are long, cause Patience, Understanding, and Wisdom that come from Initiation in Surrender - are greatest lessons for incarnated Soul. Letting go, as Idea - flows, but in flesh&blood, catching the absolute and momentarily fluctuation of that flowing vibe... takes some time. Nevertheless, in state of that - Time disappears. You accept Eternity cause you have to, not because you want to - on planet Earth. These are Rules.
And we know them, as Souls, when deciding to incarnate. But in a transition process, we - forget, cause of the change of sphere, it' density makes us "forget." And that is "suffering," "shocking" for the Soul - that's why we say that the greatest Sacrifice of Soul is one it makes while coming to the physically limited system as body might seems. In that sense, entering the Path of Hanged One is not the most pleasant experience of all... hugely rewarding once you've passed through it, but still, very challenging for Ego cause it's mirrored with it's a weakness. Accepting One as a part of the whole is a Key. But, we don't have to wait for Hanged One to catch us: we can enter it consciously, into those deep waters of the Neptunian world... And why would someone choose that? Because in the sphere of Hanged, we heal our birth traumas. The basic One for every human being, precisely every Soul that passed the process of incarnating.
The core traumas anyone has, cause they are part of Greatest Cosmic Experiment, and it's a one about Life on Earth. So, they come from first incarnating experience: the very first one in our coming to Earth. All other fears, collected through the reincarnation cycle, just represent manifestations and variations of that basic one, activated through the mother's womb, by her fears. That's also part of Soul Agreement, but the good news is - in a period of Awakening&Ascension, we uncover these dark holes, and fill them with Light of Divine Love... that's how they are healed.
Hanged Man literally shows it: in it's turned stated, it looks just the same as a human baby coming from a womb or Starseed volunteers who came in capsules on Earth. Upside downstate, for a reminder of letting go, feeling helpless, and accepting it, for a higher good.
So the way to get in that sphere, to see and feel your Soul chose weaknesses (to heal them), you should lay upside down, on your bed, put your hands on your kidneys and breed bluish violet light: for 10 minutes, entering your whole body with that light vibration. You can feel yourself drowning into the water capsule and projected onto the vast seas of Cosmos. And while floating, just observe - thoughts and emotions that arise with that... Keep breathing light and witnessing the process: watching sensations in a different part of the body, watching emotions as they signal from every part of your system. And when you catch the fear of losing control, feelings of being victimized or any other scarier.... let them out with violet light.
I remembered all of that last night when Hanged One jumped on me, out of nowhere (his usual way...) The day started with a 9 of water (9 of cups), which is an excellent energy of emotional fulfillment. And it really was: I spent a day with friends and Light family, cooking, drinking, weeding and having fun. And then, in the evening, out of nowhere - I sense the change... "What is happening?.." - I went looking into Sphere/Field and ending with the Tarot in my hands. Moon jumps out, and I draw the Hanged One.
Well, concerning the great fact of PMS having its hormonal dance in my blood, I translated it in connection to a period that it was on its way. Moon, more than anyone, speaks about all sorts of feminine weakness, mostly karmic One concerned with abortuses, magic drinks, and doing black magic wizardly stuff for catching the love... And Hanged, screams about vulnerability and letting go - so, a perfect explanation for first day period, right? Yes, but no. Not in that case, although my explanation was perfectly logical. That is a problem when you do psychic readings for yourself: people say it is impossible to see things clearly as you can do for someone else. It is not valid: you see clearly everything. The most significant problem is: you mistranslate them. Yes, yes... cause we are so subjective with ourselves... There is a part of us that always wants best for itself, so naturally, it draws things in that direction... It happens unconsciously, by itself. So it occurred to me with Moon&Hanged. After I saw (and mistranslated them), I went on laughing with my friends... One of them brought the bottle of wine, and we couldn't open it, so we went into the bar in the building. I know the waitress, so when she offered us with Martini, we took it - one cigarette&drink, and then we go. We came back home, and then it hit me - alcohol! That's what was Tarot talking about. To cut a long story short - I spent a whole night vomiting. Not because of wine, or brandy - cause I know how to drink smartly :) - but artificial Martini was my trigger. Last time I had such experience in secondary school - I never vomit, I know how to drink smartly, but all of that just vanished: i did it like a helpless alcoholic. Yeah, it was healing. When you vomit, you are throwing things out of your self to free yourself from anything that does no longer serves you. So, yes, it was a kind of comeback for me. But misty One, just as Moon promised, and painfull, for the sake of Hanged and hanging out with him. Lot of great insights I got, mostly on healing the wounded emotions of whole my feminine, earthly reincarnation experiences... So big... But, why the Tarot in the first place (when we drink our morning coffee) didn't say a thing about it? And then I saw it: it said, cause 9 of water is astrologically represented with Jupiter i Pisces - a sign of Neptune (who's astrologically represented by Hanged One). And the 9th sphere, Yesod, is all about emotions. So, it needs just a spin or two to jump into the state of 9 of fire (wands), or 9 of air (swords). But, when it's energetic progressions are led by Neptun himself - you are heading right into the Hanged Man&Moon, together.
So, what I've learned from that watery grip (Hanged represents Neptun, and Moon watery Jupiter aspect through Pisces)? No matter how hard we try to open some venues of our unconscious mind - with yoga, meditation, energy work... - there are some areas not accessible to us. Some closed doors. And the problem with them is that you can't see them - like blind spots that exist, you now and there become aware of some weirdness (that popped out from them), but you don't catch it in its original form. Cause they've been floating in a level, I call Deepest of deep. And that deepest realm of our system is represented by the water, as an element, and exactly with Moon and Hanged One. They are Tarot classic for "darkest hour before sunlight," and both, every in its own way, talks about unconscious power that lays in every one of us. Those layers are not easily reachable: and when they come in life (they always come, cause they are part of natural life circle, as natural laws and forces), you usually don't want to reach them (but it's too late, they've reached you ;). Of course, that's happening when a person is ready to bear the energy, in spite of devastating depression they might cause in their healing process... But, wouldn't it be nice to work out as much as possible in the astral level to minimize the effect of manifestation in material life?
For instance, Tarot tells you about the period with hard Moon energies... Fine, u accept it, but start immediately working as much you can on the nonmaterial plane - so in everyday life, it hits you with 10 or 20 percent, because the other 80 is healed in the process.
And, here they come - Neptunian methods: to, kind off, provoke that energy, wine, and weed (although weed is Devil's herb) can help, or any other bohemian rhapsody (any behavior or practice that will pull you into trance, forcing you to lose usual mind control, but really lose it, no manipulation here will work, no mind). I know it's radical, and I am not telling you to start drinking or smoking like crazy to "heal your Moon." No, no, not at all. But, on the ground that similar reacts with similar (homeopathy principles) - these ways can help you sometimes to do some further openings, reach another level of your weakness and darkness. And only when you contact them, you can heal them. That's why I give thanks to that Martini: it turned me upside down and smashed hard. But that opened another area - currently recovering :)